Credits: Jokes copied from different websites on the Internet

We all love a good joke don’t we, specially if it is an adult one? We all have smiled silently when reading these jokes in serious company or laughed out loud while sharing them with friends. There are some really funny Adult jokes that can be found on the internet and here are ten of the funniest we could find on the internet. Go on, have a laugh and share them with your friends.

1. A Male patient just recovered successfully from a life threatening heart problem. He was hooked up to an oxygen mask on his face and slowly woke up from his sleep to find the nurse giving his a sponge bath.

The Patient Mumbled under the mask, nurse, are my testicles black?
Embarrassed the Nurse replies, I wouldn’t know Sir, I am just getting you clean.
Patient again: Are my testicles black?
Nurse: Sir, I am sure everything is ok with them.
The patient keeps asking: But Nurse, are my testicles black?

The nurse gets worried with his question and thinks something to be wrong, raises his gown and feels his ‘thing’ and moves his testicles around prodding, pulling and checking when suddenly the man ejaculates into her hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at what just happened he tells the nurse, “Ma’am, Thank you but please can you tell me if My Test Results Are Back?

2. A man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive & sexy woman. He looks her up and then looks at his watch for a moment and then approaches the woman. Standing next to her he says, ‘By looking at your watch I tell you are not wearing any panties. The woman giggles and replies “Well it must not be working because I am wearing one!” The man smiles, taps his watch and says, “Damn watch is an hour fast.”

3. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’

4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up…you’re next!” ‘.

5. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Why, what happens to them?
Girl: They spread.

6. Doctor to lady patient: What happened to you? You are looking so weak and exhausted! I hope you are having 3 meals a day as I had advised?
Lady: Oh my God! I heard 3 males per day!

7. A married business man was having an affair with his private secretary. One afternoon, they became so overcome with passion that they took off to a hotel to have sex. After an hour of screwing they fell asleep and wake late in the evening. As the business man wore his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside to the hotel lawn and rub them on the grass and dirt.

Once she did that he wore his shoes and drove back home. “Where have you been this late?” demanded his wife when he entered the house. “My Darling,” replied the man, “I just can’t lie to you. I am having an affair with my private secretary. I fell asleep in bed with her and didn’t wake up until half hour back.” The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf again haven’t you!”

8. One evening a man and his wife were sitting and watching a boxing match on Prime time TV. The husband gets angry and complains, “This is bloody disappointing. This only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I have always felt.”

9. After work, a guy was out with his friends for a drink at the local pub and loses track of time having drinks after drinks. Just as he feels that he is just a drink away from getting sloshed, he looks at his watch and exclaims loudly to his friends; ‘Look at the bloody time. It is so late and my wife will kill me. Oh what will I do now’?

His friend assures him that he has the best plan to help him out. Friend says, ’When you get home, quietly undress, get in bed and start screwing your wife for as long as you can. She will surely forgive you and there will not be any complaints. Try it because it works for me’.

So the man goes home, opens the door quietly, climbs the stairs to his room, undresses and goes on to screw for 20 minutes. Through muffled noises he knows that his wife is enjoying herself. Once he finishes he goes down to get some water to drink and finds his wife sitting on the chair in the kitchen. . Seeing her he screames, “What the hell are you doing in here?!” “Quiet!” the wife exclaimed. “You’ll wake up my Grandmother.”

10. Two friends visit a high priced prostitute. The first guy goes into the room. He comes out soon after ten minutes and says, “Bloody hell. My wife is better than that one.” The second guy goes into the room. He too comes out ten minutes later and says, “You are right man. Your wife is definitely better.”

Do you have any jokes that are funnier than these? Put them in the comments below and let us have a good laugh too.

Credits: Jokes copied from different websites on the Internet

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