In a recent incident, a man from Bihar was kidnapped by a woman’s relatives and forcefully married off to her despite his protests. At gunpoint, every year men in Bihar are subjected to this torture. Let us have a look at why groom kidnapping is so prevalent in Bihar and how we can try to curtail it.
Dowry has always been a bane of our society. In fact, in the mid-20th century, a lot of women were sacrificed because they could not meet the demands of their greedy in-laws. You may wonder that the problem has subsided by now but the truth is very different from reality. The situation has worsened in states like Bihar where people who are unable to provide heavy dowries kidnap potential grooms and get them married to their daughters.
One such incident that was recently brought to light thanks to the efforts of TV channel NDTV is the kidnapping and subsequent marriage of Vinod Kumar who was kidnapped at gunpoint. In a video footage, Vinod tells the channel how everything was planned in advance and one of his close friends acted as their aide.
During the entire duration Vinod was forcefully made to partake in all the rituals of the wedding and upon refusal, he was told that they would kill him. In the footage, it is quite evident that Vinod is not fine with whatever is happening with him. In fact, since he is feeling so helpless he is crying all through the wedding.
In spite of Vinod filing an FIR against his so-called in-laws, no action has been taken so far against them. The police are pressurizing him to withdraw the case and accept the girl as his lawfully wedded wife. They are probably feeling that nothing can be done and it is better to accept it. The question however still remains as to what is the root cause of all this social menace.
Is it because of the lawlessness in the state that people think that they can get away with whatever crime they commit? Or is the fear of not being able to pay hefty dowry forcing people from poor backgrounds to resort to such methods. The truth is that this issue is much deeper then we think. Both the boy and girl families want their children to get married into very affluent families so that their financial situation also gets improved. In such a situation while boys would never think of getting married to a girl with average financial conditions even the girl’s parents want an educated and qualified groom for their daughter.
When the girl’s parents feel that their ideal groom is not going to forge an alliance with them they adopt groom kidnapping to fulfill their wish. They probably feel that one day or the other the boy will accept their daughter and then she will roll in luxuries. But just imagine the plight of the girl who like cattle is married away to a total stranger who might not accept her at all.
If dowry is wrong so is the desire to use someone else’s financial situation to move ahead in your life. Marriages between couples should be on the basis of their emotional connect between them. In Bihar, it may take a lot of time for people to understand and accept this philosophy. However, if there is a continuous outrage to such incidents then maybe even the authorities will stop and listen and curtail them. If you also think that our raising voice on this issue is correct do let us know our opinion. The more voices we get the more are our chances of any address happening.
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