What Should a Man do if he is in an Abusive Relationship?
If you have been lately finding it tough to carry on your existing relationship, you must read this post. This is because it is quite likely that for some known or unknown reasons, you are landed up in an Abusive Relationship. You may spot diverse symptoms, such as the need to think twice before sharing something with your partner or feeling fearful most of the time about her reaction, which evidently are signs adverse to your relationship.
Relationship experts say that men can be “invisible victims” of a relationship abuse and facts must be looked into. How to identify if you are in an abusive relationship and what is if you need to do to gain some control: Here are some indicators.
Physical & Emotional Abuse
- When you are refused access to Food, proper sleep or not allowed to do everyday chores and fulfill basic requirements.
- Threatening to hurt by brandishing a knife, spatula, heavy or sharp objects.
- Violent acts by the partner such as breaking dishes, throwing things at the you.
- Direct attacks with acts by the partner such as pulling the hair, biting, punching, slapping or other physical attacks.
- Restricting you from socializing with your friends or meeting or talking to your family.
- Constant taunts & criticism over habits, petty mistakes and comparison with other men.
- They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of the man in front of other people
- Provoking children against you and building an unhealthy aversion in them for their father.
- Publically pinpointing mistakes and yelling at the man.
- Regularly demeaning or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.
- Creating reasons of guilt to insult you into submission.
- Withholding physical intimacy to spite, manipulate and control you
- Openly engaging in affairs outside the relationship
- Constantly threatening to commit suicide if her demands are not met.
- Insulting & Misbehaving with your Family and Friends
- You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.
- She tries to control the finances and how and what you spend money on.
- They constantly blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.
- Threaten to have you beaten by paid thugs or her family members.
Why are victimized men said to be an invisible victim?
The victim of the abuse quite often doesn’t see the mistreatment as abusive. They develop coping mechanisms of denial and minimizing in order to deal with the stress. But the effects of long-term emotional abuse can cause severe emotional trauma in the victim, including depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder.
Men are considered stronger than women as they understandably possess greater physical strength. However, men with a low self-esteem are most likely to silently prey and remain in an abusive relationship. Other reasons, such as the female partner’s better financial status, stronger social standing, coming from a popular family, etc too can be the relationship spoilsport.
Possibilities to overcome abusive relationship exist
If you think you are into an abusive relationship, believe it – there are ways to overcome it and to stop getting abused! The key to getting out of your trauma is to first realize – you are not at fault all the time, and that your errors, shortcomings, etc are just okay as a human being. First, strengthen this belief and sideways, have an action plan.
Decide to keep a track of her violent acts of threatens or abuses, and it is alright if she feels you are gathering evidences. Better if you can document her acts in audio or visual form. Have at least one confidant with whom you can share these evidences. You may even let the message go to her that her abusing acts, in any form of physical, mental, emotional torture, will prompt you to report on the domestic abuse helpline number.
If things go beyond your set limits, you must not hesitate from calling help. This can be multiply beneficial – be it through some serious counsel, sensitizing about the damage to children’s future, or chances of an action against her!
The last step is to Develop an exit plan. You can’t remain in an abusive relationship forever. If finances or children or some other valid reason prevents you from leaving now, develop a plan for leaving as soon as possible. Burrow or save some money and look for a place to shift and plan for your separation. This may be something you need to do as a last step if nothing else worls.