Money makes the world go round. It’s that ugly, practical thing that can sometimes cause even the most stable of relationships to falter. It kills romance, makes things awkward and almost promotes a sense of distance between two people. When the realities of normal life intrude on the romantic bliss; money is almost always the first topic of contention.
However, there are ways to navigate through this tricky subject.
Be honest: The very first rule of the thumb in any relationship is honesty. You need to be honest about loans, debts, expenditures, how you deal with dependants and future expectations. You need to discuss bad spending habits so if you tend to splurge on shoes or collect useless technology when you can’t really afford it, discuss it bluntly.
Take equal responsibility: With all talk about equality of men and women, this should also be discussed. Usually all the household expenses are handled by men while women keep their money stored away for a rainy day or personal expenses. Surprisingly, some men insist on this. Forget that. Spend and save in equal measure. Share the rent, or the EMIs, the utility bills, the grocery bills, etc. Believe it or not, sharing expenses is the greatest equalizer in a relationship.
Joint and Personal accounts: Yes, maintain both joint and personal accounts and believe me, it’ll help. Sit down and calculate all monthly earning and expenses. After that, deposit a portion of your earnings in the joint account and use it to pay the bills and household expenses. Your personal account is where you keep track your personal expenses and savings. Pooling all your money together wouldn’t do you any good and keeping it entirely separate won’t help you either.
Discuss investments: Planning to buy a new home? Plan a second home? Jewellery? Interested in purchasing shares and investments? Discuss it with your spouse. When you spot some amazing investment opportunity, bounce the idea off of your partner before jumping into it. If they have doubts, listen to them and be reasonable. Sometimes you may get swayed by temptation and your partner may maintain a level head and point out the disadvantages, if there are any.
Let go of unrealistic expectations: A birthday or an anniversary coming around? Don’t always expect a pair of diamond earrings or a fancy, rugged designer watch. Birthdays and anniversaries have been commercialized to such an extent, it’s ridiculous. Stick to simple things like a shared tub of ice-cream or a small outing or even a cuddle. All a relationship needs to work is affection and commitment, not money or expensive gifts. Believe me; your wallet and your love life will be happier.
Plan ahead: It might be unpleasant, but plan for all emergencies, including losing your jobs, health problems and death. Saving money for a hay-day is important however having good health and life insurance is even more so. However, a partner’s death is not only emotionally painful but also agonizing. From bank accounts to investments to properties, everything needs to be handled and if you don’t have explicit instructions, thing can become very difficult for the loved ones you’re leaving behind.
With a little bit of rationality and understanding, couples can navigate the toughest situations. Money is just one of those things you need to learn to deal with.
